Man comes home, finds 
his wife with his friend in bed. 
He shoots his friend 
and kills him. 
Wife says : 
'If you behave 
like this, you will lose ALL your friends'.
********************************************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, ' send me a brother' 
Santa wrote back, 
' SEND ME YOUR 
MOTHER'
****************************************
What is the definition of Mistress? 
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
****************************************
Husband asks: 
'Do u know that the meaning of WIFE 
is: 
W ithout 
I nformation 
F ighting 
E very-time 
Wife replies : 
' No,...... 
It means:
With 
I diot 
F or 
E ver 
!!!'
*****************************************
What's the difference 
between stress, tension and panic? 
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant. 
Panic is when 
both are pregnant.
****************************************
Grammer Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? 
Kid: Yeah,
once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver run away
**********************************************************
A young boy asks his 
Dad :'What is the difference between confident and confidential? 
Dad says: 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that IS confidential .'