Pronounce Oklahoma the Right Way !!!!!



A friend of mine, who is a teacher, once told me that in one of her
Geography lessons, she had difficulties getting some of her students

to pronounce the name of a city, OKLAHOMA !


A Malay student, read it as O.K. lah Omar

A Chinese student, read it as Okra Oma !

An Indian student read it as Wok Kla Wo Ma !

Don't laugh, but do you know how to pronounce correctly, the word....
"Oklahoma" ?
The Proper Way is:
OKLA...   (with a pause) ... HOMA
(There's a gap between the 'a' and the 'h'.)
Don't agree, let me prove it..............................
 
 

How to avoid Shopping Guys with your GF/Wife..........?

My wife was always after me to go shopping with her.. 

Then I began wearing my favorite tee shirt 
She doesn't want me to go shopping with her anymore. Now she takes her mom or one of her sisters. ;-) 


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Old Timers Sex




An elderly couple is enjoying a nice meal together at a local diner.

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.


What do you call his wife??? A bitch perhaps....................

Women & Man Drink - Who they Are


WOMAN DRINKS AND WHO THEY ARE.

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink......

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with my friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is..this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.



MAN DRINKS & WHO THEY ARE

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay.

The Lone Ranger's Last Request

The Lone Ranger's
Last Request 

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party.  

 
The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So,  YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...  
 
"In honor of the Harvest Festival, 
YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you,  I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request ???'

The Lone Ranger responds, 
"I'd like to speak to my horse."
 
The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear,  and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening,  Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on  his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, 
the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night.  

The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed.  
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."  
"What is your SECOND request ???"  
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought  to
 him, 
and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

 As before,  Silver takes off and disappears
over the horizon.

Later that evening,  to the Chief's surprise,

Silver again returns,  this time with a
voluptuous brunette,  more attractive
than the blonde.
 
She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow."  
"What is your LAST request ???"  

 The Lone Ranger responds,

"I'd like to speak to my horse,  ....  alone."

 The Chief is curious,   but he agrees, 
and Silver is brought to
the 
Lone Ranger's tent.  
 
 Once they're alone,  
the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, 
Looks him square in the eye and says,
 Listen Very Carefully !!!!
FOR... THE... LAST... TIME... I SAID ...
'BRING  POSSE not PUSSY

Only in Malaysia

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

If you're in trouble......

Lock The Toilets

Buy the Baby

Lock The Slippers

Why doesn't he just pull up from the next station

Got NO IDEA???

Get the JOKE???

What if Taxis in KL starts using Proton Inspira ( Waja)